Sarcastic Dares
Taken from www.funnyandjokes.com
Sarcastically speaking, I dare you to do some of the things found on my top ten list.
10. Pull into a gas station and use the window washer to wash your entire car.
9. Ask a bank teller to break a $100 bill for you. Then when asked how you want it done say, “in hundreds”.
8. Call a political candidate’s campaign office and ask them for a donation to your non-candidacAy.
7. Ask a security guard how it feels knowing that in all the action movies the security guards are always the first to die.
6. When you get credit card offers in the mail, stuff the prepaid envelopes with toilet paper and mail them back. (whether you use new or used toilet paper is totally up to you.)
5. Call your bank and ask them to add your checking account onto the $700 billion government bail out plan.
4. Find someone who is big into worrying about the threat of global warming, remind them of their own carbon dioxide and body heat contribution to the planet, and ask them to stop it.
3. Ask a judge if you can get away with murder as long as you can convince a jury of your peers ahead of time that it is justified.
2. Send a bill to every TV station, radio station, cell phone company, and satellite company, charging them an “access fee” for the waves they broadcast through your property. If they refuse payment, charge them with trespassing.
And the #1 Sarcastic Dare…
1. Circulate a petition to put “intelligent human beings” on the endangered species list.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Teaching Safe Sex
Jocelynn Tyler
Teaching Safe Sex
Health class is a required course in high school. Sex education is taught to ever student in every school. It preaches abstinence to these students. And, every year, many high school students get pregnant. Also, the number of teen pregnancies do not reflect the number of students who are sexually active, or even the number of students who aren’t having sex safely or responsibly.
Students are often ignorant of the realities of sex. Teens contract STDs, become pregnant, and become parents well before they are physically, emotionally, or financially ready. Regular health classes do not stop these teens from having sex.
I believe there is a simple solution. Granted, it will not completely stop teen parenthood and pregnancies, but it would greatly help. High school health classes, instead of just teaching abstinence, should teach safe sex practices while still advocating abstinence. They should show students how to use condoms and femidoms (female condoms), as well as teaching female students how to take birth control, its side effects, and the realities of it’s effectiveness. This will enable students who plan on having sex anyways to be safer, and less likely to have an unwanted pregnancy or an STD.
While some parents may not want their students learning about safe sex in school, the reality is that many students do not learn this from their parents, because many parents do not want to believe that their child is ‘irresponsible’ or ‘immoral’ enough to be having sex as a teen, or before marriage. However, teens are not thinking about morality or responsibility when they are having sexual thoughts, and most do not even consider the possible consequences due to raging hormones and blinded opinions of love and relationships.
Also, students should be alerted that though they will have to spend some money to have safe sex, it is a lot cheaper than paying for a child, or even an abortion (which I am highly against).
I strongly believe that students should be taught the realities and consequences of sex before they become victims of ignorance and their hormones.
Teaching Safe Sex
Health class is a required course in high school. Sex education is taught to ever student in every school. It preaches abstinence to these students. And, every year, many high school students get pregnant. Also, the number of teen pregnancies do not reflect the number of students who are sexually active, or even the number of students who aren’t having sex safely or responsibly.
Students are often ignorant of the realities of sex. Teens contract STDs, become pregnant, and become parents well before they are physically, emotionally, or financially ready. Regular health classes do not stop these teens from having sex.
I believe there is a simple solution. Granted, it will not completely stop teen parenthood and pregnancies, but it would greatly help. High school health classes, instead of just teaching abstinence, should teach safe sex practices while still advocating abstinence. They should show students how to use condoms and femidoms (female condoms), as well as teaching female students how to take birth control, its side effects, and the realities of it’s effectiveness. This will enable students who plan on having sex anyways to be safer, and less likely to have an unwanted pregnancy or an STD.
While some parents may not want their students learning about safe sex in school, the reality is that many students do not learn this from their parents, because many parents do not want to believe that their child is ‘irresponsible’ or ‘immoral’ enough to be having sex as a teen, or before marriage. However, teens are not thinking about morality or responsibility when they are having sexual thoughts, and most do not even consider the possible consequences due to raging hormones and blinded opinions of love and relationships.
Also, students should be alerted that though they will have to spend some money to have safe sex, it is a lot cheaper than paying for a child, or even an abortion (which I am highly against).
I strongly believe that students should be taught the realities and consequences of sex before they become victims of ignorance and their hormones.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
ENGLISH COMPOSTION
Charles Lamb
Jocelynn Tyler 2B
The author uses tone rhetorical strategies to decline Wordsworth’s invitation through a harsh and inconsiderate tone and through the use of similes and metaphors.
Lamb presents the idea of being bound to the city and having no desire to go to the country with Wordsworth using a very insensitive and thoughtless tone. He writes “Have I not enough, without your mountains? I do not envy you, I should pity you, did I not know, that the Mind will make friends of anything. Your sun & moon and skies and hills & lakes affect me no more, or scarcely come to me in more venerable characters, than as a gilded room with tapestry and tapers, where I might live with handsome visible objects.” This tone is used to decline Wordsworth, but it is written to harshly snub his feelings. This is only amplified when earlier he writes “I have passed all my days in London, until I have formed as many and intense local attachments, as any of your Mountaineers can have done with dead nature.” Through this use of tone and metaphor, he basically tells Wordsworth that he believes nature to be ‘dead’ and it is implied that he sees his city connections as more important. This is the premise upon which he builds his argument against going on this nature trip with Wordsworth.
The author also works to develop the idea that nature is dead, boring, and otherwise not as interesting as his city life. He writes “Separate from the pleasure of your company, I don't much care if I never see a mountain in my life.” He uses this and other sentences to show that he has little care towards nature and spending time out of the city. He also writes “My attachments are all local, purely local. I have no passion (or have had none since I was in love, and then it was the spurious engendering of poetry & books) to groves and vallies.” He continually stresses that the city is the place for him, and spurns the idea of going out into nature, effectively declining Wordsworth’s kind offer.
With the cold-shouldered manner of rejecting Wordsworth through calling his nature ‘dead’ and how he sees his city life and connections as more important, it is very clear that he has no desire to venture into the mountains with Wordsworth, and more than likely will not be swayed. By using this tone and harsh metaphors, the author has ultimately insulted and cast off Wordsworth in such a manner to more than likely prevent such questions again.
Jocelynn Tyler 2B
The author uses tone rhetorical strategies to decline Wordsworth’s invitation through a harsh and inconsiderate tone and through the use of similes and metaphors.
Lamb presents the idea of being bound to the city and having no desire to go to the country with Wordsworth using a very insensitive and thoughtless tone. He writes “Have I not enough, without your mountains? I do not envy you, I should pity you, did I not know, that the Mind will make friends of anything. Your sun & moon and skies and hills & lakes affect me no more, or scarcely come to me in more venerable characters, than as a gilded room with tapestry and tapers, where I might live with handsome visible objects.” This tone is used to decline Wordsworth, but it is written to harshly snub his feelings. This is only amplified when earlier he writes “I have passed all my days in London, until I have formed as many and intense local attachments, as any of your Mountaineers can have done with dead nature.” Through this use of tone and metaphor, he basically tells Wordsworth that he believes nature to be ‘dead’ and it is implied that he sees his city connections as more important. This is the premise upon which he builds his argument against going on this nature trip with Wordsworth.
The author also works to develop the idea that nature is dead, boring, and otherwise not as interesting as his city life. He writes “Separate from the pleasure of your company, I don't much care if I never see a mountain in my life.” He uses this and other sentences to show that he has little care towards nature and spending time out of the city. He also writes “My attachments are all local, purely local. I have no passion (or have had none since I was in love, and then it was the spurious engendering of poetry & books) to groves and vallies.” He continually stresses that the city is the place for him, and spurns the idea of going out into nature, effectively declining Wordsworth’s kind offer.
With the cold-shouldered manner of rejecting Wordsworth through calling his nature ‘dead’ and how he sees his city life and connections as more important, it is very clear that he has no desire to venture into the mountains with Wordsworth, and more than likely will not be swayed. By using this tone and harsh metaphors, the author has ultimately insulted and cast off Wordsworth in such a manner to more than likely prevent such questions again.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Brunette Jokes
Jocelynn Tyler
Brunnette One-Liners
Yeah, we've all heard the blond jokes. How to drown a blonde, what to do when a blonde throws a grenade at you, etc. Brunettes are just as, or even more so ditzy, and can be quite dumb. Not to stereotype all brunettes that way, I mean, I'm a brunette, but I'm willing to admit that these are pretty funny.
What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.
Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can remember them.
What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.
What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.
What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.
Is it true blonds have more fun?
No, they have ALL the fun.
Why can't brunettes 'tease' their hair?
Because it's not funny.
Why did the brunette get thrown out of the M & M factory?
She kept throwing out all the W's.
How do you describe a brunette who's phone rings on Saturday night?
Startled.
Brunnette One-Liners
Yeah, we've all heard the blond jokes. How to drown a blonde, what to do when a blonde throws a grenade at you, etc. Brunettes are just as, or even more so ditzy, and can be quite dumb. Not to stereotype all brunettes that way, I mean, I'm a brunette, but I'm willing to admit that these are pretty funny.
What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.
Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can remember them.
What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.
What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.
What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.
Is it true blonds have more fun?
No, they have ALL the fun.
Why can't brunettes 'tease' their hair?
Because it's not funny.
Why did the brunette get thrown out of the M & M factory?
She kept throwing out all the W's.
How do you describe a brunette who's phone rings on Saturday night?
Startled.
Student Emails
Jocelynn Tyler
Student Emails
The teachers in Duval County are interconnected with an email system through the Duval school’s website and through the DCPS network. They can communicate with other teachers and school officials with ease and near immediacy. The students, however, do not share this immediate connectivity.
It would be highly beneficial for students to ‘get in’ on this technology. It is an easy way to communicate, and is nearly instant when there is computer access. With the growing availability of computers and in today’s technologic society, it would be shameful to let any chance to improve our schools slip away.
Student emails would allow students and teachers to communicate for homework, for class scheduling updates, and for guidance. Students would be able to email the teacher for missing assignments, would be able to receive alerts on upcoming quizzes and tests, and could be able to communicate in a one-on-one situation that they may not have in a classroom situation.
Also, if students had interschool emails, they would also be able to communicate with each other during school. This would be beneficial for completing group work, or for getting help on homework and studying. Yes, admittedly, it would be used for recreational communication between students as well, but monitoring and/or word filters could keep this to a minimum for negative purposes.
In today’s day and age, it would be a waste to miss out on how this technology could help the school, and the district.
Student Emails
The teachers in Duval County are interconnected with an email system through the Duval school’s website and through the DCPS network. They can communicate with other teachers and school officials with ease and near immediacy. The students, however, do not share this immediate connectivity.
It would be highly beneficial for students to ‘get in’ on this technology. It is an easy way to communicate, and is nearly instant when there is computer access. With the growing availability of computers and in today’s technologic society, it would be shameful to let any chance to improve our schools slip away.
Student emails would allow students and teachers to communicate for homework, for class scheduling updates, and for guidance. Students would be able to email the teacher for missing assignments, would be able to receive alerts on upcoming quizzes and tests, and could be able to communicate in a one-on-one situation that they may not have in a classroom situation.
Also, if students had interschool emails, they would also be able to communicate with each other during school. This would be beneficial for completing group work, or for getting help on homework and studying. Yes, admittedly, it would be used for recreational communication between students as well, but monitoring and/or word filters could keep this to a minimum for negative purposes.
In today’s day and age, it would be a waste to miss out on how this technology could help the school, and the district.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Why do they say that?
Why do they say that?
Many of use clichéd sayings daily, but have no idea where they came from or what they really mean. Here are some of their histories.
Balls to the wall. This is actually not from male anatomy. When flying a plane, the throttle controls are topped with ball hand grips. When you push them towards the walls of the cabin, you are going at top speed. Therefore, ‘balls to the walls’ means to go all out.
Breaking the ice. When everyone had to get their water from a well in winter, the person who broke the ice on top of the well allowed everyone else to get a drink, as no one wanted to do it themselves.
Cold turkey. When drug addicts are quitting their addiction, their skin turns pale and they have goose bumps, making them resemble a frozen, plucked turkey.
Feeding frenzy. This is in reference to the ravenous feeding habits of sharks.
Crossed Fingers. Crossing one’s fingers is a way of creating a cross with ones hands easily and shields the user from bad luck, supposedly.
Gung-ho. In Chinese, gung-ho means to work together. It now has come to mean competitive or aggressive.
Sleep tight. Before they had box springs, they supported mattresses with ropes, and if you didn’t tighten the ropes, the mattress would sag. Therefore you should tighten the mattress, or, sleep tight.
Many of use clichéd sayings daily, but have no idea where they came from or what they really mean. Here are some of their histories.
Balls to the wall. This is actually not from male anatomy. When flying a plane, the throttle controls are topped with ball hand grips. When you push them towards the walls of the cabin, you are going at top speed. Therefore, ‘balls to the walls’ means to go all out.
Breaking the ice. When everyone had to get their water from a well in winter, the person who broke the ice on top of the well allowed everyone else to get a drink, as no one wanted to do it themselves.
Cold turkey. When drug addicts are quitting their addiction, their skin turns pale and they have goose bumps, making them resemble a frozen, plucked turkey.
Feeding frenzy. This is in reference to the ravenous feeding habits of sharks.
Crossed Fingers. Crossing one’s fingers is a way of creating a cross with ones hands easily and shields the user from bad luck, supposedly.
Gung-ho. In Chinese, gung-ho means to work together. It now has come to mean competitive or aggressive.
Sleep tight. Before they had box springs, they supported mattresses with ropes, and if you didn’t tighten the ropes, the mattress would sag. Therefore you should tighten the mattress, or, sleep tight.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Teen Relationships
Teen Relationships- Column
How often is the word ‘love’ tossed around? It’s used enough in today’s society to devalue the word. Teens love their friends, their parents (sometimes), and then they love their boyfriend or girlfriend.
However, many teen relationships last no longer than a month or two. There are exceptions, but the majority are short, fleeting, and almost meaningless, so one might think. How can a relationship that lasts only for two weeks going to affect the rest of your life?
It can. Dating is how we test the waters to see which type of girls or guys we like, and which types we are most compatible with. A person who you date for a short amount of time can make you realize that you don’t want to date someone who is such a perfectionist, per se, or maybe you realize that the person you thought you loved isn’t really the type of person you want to be around.
These small things can influence the people you choose to associate with, and can put you on the path to finding a person who you can be happy with the rest of your life. I’m not saying, and I’m not not saying that there is a ‘soul mate’ out there for everyone, but I am saying that you can learn, by dating, what types of people you can be happy with.
So, don’t make fun of someone who dates nearly every guy or girl in the school, or even the person who seems so picky that they never really date anyone. They are both playing the dating game, and learning from every toss of the dice.
How often is the word ‘love’ tossed around? It’s used enough in today’s society to devalue the word. Teens love their friends, their parents (sometimes), and then they love their boyfriend or girlfriend.
However, many teen relationships last no longer than a month or two. There are exceptions, but the majority are short, fleeting, and almost meaningless, so one might think. How can a relationship that lasts only for two weeks going to affect the rest of your life?
It can. Dating is how we test the waters to see which type of girls or guys we like, and which types we are most compatible with. A person who you date for a short amount of time can make you realize that you don’t want to date someone who is such a perfectionist, per se, or maybe you realize that the person you thought you loved isn’t really the type of person you want to be around.
These small things can influence the people you choose to associate with, and can put you on the path to finding a person who you can be happy with the rest of your life. I’m not saying, and I’m not not saying that there is a ‘soul mate’ out there for everyone, but I am saying that you can learn, by dating, what types of people you can be happy with.
So, don’t make fun of someone who dates nearly every guy or girl in the school, or even the person who seems so picky that they never really date anyone. They are both playing the dating game, and learning from every toss of the dice.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
